Suicide Booth
Suicide booths are booths similar to the "Phone Booths" of the late 20th century in appearance and are typically found on nearly every street of any major city in the year 3000. They are roughly the same size, shape and have the same style entrance as phone booths of that era, the main difference being that instead inserting 25 cents in the slot and instantly being put in contact with the person of your choice, you are instantly put in contact with the deity, supernatural entity or DemiGod (Or Demon, depending on your type of worship...) associated with your type of religion (Or any combination therein. As of this writing, no Atheist has ever been issued a refund, but, then again, none have, so far, ever asked...). When one wants to use a Suicide Booth, once you have waited in line (For some reason, there is ALWAYS a line, am I Right...?), the entrance opens automatically and you step inside with the door closing behind you, at which point, a sign above the entrance lights up indicating it is in use. Once you have selected what type of suicide best suits you (Suicide booths have three modes of death: "Quick and Painless", "Slow and Horrible", which is apparently synonymous with "Collect Call", and "Clumsy Bludgeoning"), various, distinct and relatively frightening weapons of death emerge from its inner workings and quickly make short work of your corporeal form and terminate its life force. Some have complained that the average person seeking suicide doesn't need to be scared to the point of relieving themselves by the instruments of mutilation waved in their faces after they enter, with even the "Quick and Painless" option usually resulting in at least a little throwing up in the mouth, but after given a tour of the factory where they make the booths, the protesters were never heard from again. Many say its due to the rather large suicide booth attached the the "Visitor's Exit" of the factory, but a concrete explanation has never been determined, especially considering that THOSE people disappeared as well. The issue was closed shortly afterwards, considering that no one since has felt the need to complain, even in the slightest. Although the actual process of the "Suicide Booth" is a trade secret, it has been theorized that either the chunky, wet and rather sticky remains of the vict...I mean, client's body are flushed into the sewer system, feeding the mutants and/or the subterranean race of alligator people that evolved from their flushed ancestors or, possibly, they are then recycled by any number of sister companies owned by the "Suicide Booth" corporations that are associated with the "Soylent Green" initiative. The "Soylent Green" initiative is a nearly universally lauded program involved with the "Production of Low Cost Food for the Homeless" (their motto: "You are what you eat... Shut Up, its Free %$#&-in' Food...". As of last year, they successfully fed over twenty percent of the world's population and continue to feed even more ever year, even though, for some reason, the demand continues to plummet. To date, the only protest against the "Soylent Green" initiative was a minor one, the major concern being, when the food supplement was first invented, people asked, "Why is it freakin' GREEN...?". The question raised a decent amount of public attention at first, until, shortly after it was the initiative was implemented, there was that mysterious population drop, after that, one by one, people just seemed to stop caring...). Suicide booths were invented somewhere in the latter half of the 30th century. Since then, America's most important brand of suicide booths is Stop'n'Drop. Philip J. Fry met Bender after mistaking a suicide booth for a phone booth and entered to try and call his Great to the Nth Power nephew after being temporally dislocated to the 30th century. Bender stepped inside with Fry and before he realized what the booth was actually for, Bender tried to get a "Twofer" with a quarter attached to a string, which he fished back out once the machine had been activated. Fry, unknowingly, asked to make a "Collect Call", which, as discussed before, was confused by the machine into thinking he meant he wanted the "Slow and Horrible" option, at which point, a collection of pointy and painful looking implements advanced from its insides to cease their life functions. While fry was horrified at what was happening to him, Bender, who went to the booth to kill himself after he realized that all the metal he was bending was going to suicide booths, said "Good Choice" and prepared for the end. Due to Fry's terrified reaction, he helped his escape, but lamenting the loss of his free turn."Space Pilot 3000" Appearances *Space Pilot 3000 *Xmas Story *The Lesser of Two Evils *Mother's Day *Bender's Big Score *The Beast With A Billion Backs References Category:Technology